Friday, September 28, 2012


It's tough handling this grief over Sprock's passing. Have to admit I'm devastated that he's gone. Keep going back over his last few months and blaming myself for his decline. The first clue that something was wrong was when he first started poo-ing yellow liquid about three(?) months ago. Checked the internet for further info and discovered it could have been something he'd eaten, like a bit of cow poo that he was quite partial to. No mention of a liver or spleen problem though - that's the last time I consult the internet for veterinary advice. Problem didn't clear up so I took him to the vets'. Can't remember exactly what they did - I think they gave him an injection and issued me with some medication of some sort. It's easy now to blame them for not spotting that he had a serious problem, but I'm trying very hard not to. Spoke to Georgie on the phone this morning and apparently even if they had spotted the cancer or tumour, or both, there was very little they could have done. But what caused it? Maybe it was when I smacked him a bit hard a few months back (yes, I know you shouldn't smack a dog, but Sprock, bless him, was prone to getting a bit carried away occasionally). So I'm thinking that maybe I caused his death, which is a terrible burden that I guess I'll just have to live with. However, tough as it is for me, it's even tougher for Georgie back in London. She, like me, is constantly in tears at his passing. Poor thing has only been able to see the mutts occasionally over the past seven years. And now the joy of being with them both has been taken from her. Easier for me though because I was with wee Sprocky right up to the end.

Anyways..., I've put his dog bowl away, hung his collar on the kitchen fireplace and rolled up his rope on a branch of the apple tree. Haven't yet removed his dog bed because Jock sometimes uses it and I thought he'd like some kind of continuity. Have also spent hours going through my laptop photos. Put most of the doggy ones in a new 'dogs' file and have decided to upload a few more faves of Sprock. Don't really have any from his younger, pre-France days (I think they're all in my old laptop which can't get onto the internet - maybe I can download them onto a disk??? - I'll try later), but I did find an old snap of the mutts when Sprock was just a nipper. I've cried a river going though these old photos, but hopefully they'll remind us of happier times. I like to think we gave him a good life. He certainly added joy to ours.

 (Sprocket on the recently named 'Sprocket Hill' where I intend to spread his ashes.)

P.S. - Georgie's just emailed a few of her Sprock photos...