Sunday, January 24, 2010


(Nicked from old blog - Sept. '05)

It's 6.30am and dark outside. I'm sat at my desk, facing the wall, replying to emails and stuff on my laptop. The room is lit by a single bulb dangling from a cobwebby ceiling beam. There's no lampshade so the occasional shadow gets cast on the wall as the odd moth flutters around the bulb.

Slowly it dawns on me that there's a rather different shadow being cast. I look up and glance at the wall. There's a shadow at eye level going from right to left, about once every second. Rather a big one. This ain't no moth. So I turn around and squint at the light bulb. Yup, sure enough, it ain't no moth. So what is it? Maybe it's a big dragonfly. Or a hornet. No, can't be a hornet because it's not buzzing. This thing's circulating silently. And rather quickly. And it's not circling the light bulb, it's circling the room.

Aaaarrrrgh! Two of the blighters!

Crikey!!! They're bats!!!!!

Curiously, my immediate reaction was to pull the dressing gown over my head and rush out of the room, crouching down and at speed, Groucho Marx style. I then closed the door, only it wouldn't close because we still haven't fitted door locks. So I stood there like an idiot, holding the door shut, wondering what to do. When I let go of the door, it just swung open. Was a bat now climbing up my back? I frantically lept around like a demented whirling dervish in order to check. The door swung open again. Checked to see that the two bats were still present and correct. Affirmative. Boy, they must be getting dizzy. Jammed a bit of wood under the door to keep it shut.

Then what?

Now, this is embarrassing...

I went back to bed as though nothing had happened, hoping the bats would get out the same way they got in; whichever way that was - complete mystery to me. And inadvertently woke Georgie.

"You okay?" she asked, checking the bedside clock (6.45am, still dark).
"Fine thanks... apart from a couple of bats in the other room."
"Well, open the window and let 'em out."
"Er... hmm... yes... well..."

Sensing my reluctance to enter the war zone once more, Georgie made a suggestion. She, being the fearless bat fighter that she apparently is (amazing how one discovers new things about one's partner, even after twenty-odd years), would go and open the window to let out the bats, while I made the tea.

So now I'm back at my computer and she's sitting in bed with tea and biscuits.

Situation normal.

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